THIS IS LIZ HEATHER. My title

THIS IS LIZ HEATHER.

things i like & do not like.

(new posts every weekday at 12pm & 12am)

lizheather.com

Mindy Kaling’s New Book “Why Not Me?”

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Above: possible book cover outfits

I think you should know by now how excited I am by the fact that Mindy Kaling’s new book is now officially IMMINENT! 

"So much has happened between the time I published my first book and now, The show; my mother passed away; so many of my friends have gotten married. I’m a godmother now, and a homeowner. There’s so much that has happened in that period of time that I wanted to write another book." - Mindy Kaling

A release date hasn’t been announced yet, but I’ll update this post as soon as I hear one. CANNOT WAIT.

e.l.f. Mineral Eyeshadow Primer

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Did you know that e.l.f. stands for eyes lips face? Do you even care? Well, I did/do so that’s why I passed it onto you. 

ANYWAY, in a world where you can spend upwards of $40 on a MERE PRIMER - I always applaud the day when someone turns me onto a product that’s actually quite useful and not a billion dollars. 

If you ever wear eyeshadow, please buy this primer. Not only is it amazing, but it’s three dollars. Three dollars and it lasts about six months with casual usage. And I, in no way, fully support all e.l.f. products (my favourites so far are this primer and their lip exfoliator), since their “blushes” are a little cake-y and scream fifth-grade-play to me. 

This is super stingy, but save Amazon shipping boxes flat under your bed or on the floor of a closet so you don’t have to buy boxes for gifts at Christmas or for birthdays.

—#lizadvice

Keeping Pets Cool in the Summer

Do you have any idea how important it is to make sure your pet doesn’t sweat to death this summer? I don’t want to lecture you here, but please take some kind of precautions here, people. A vet once told me that taking a dog for a walk on a crazy hot day is the equivalent of a human walking around barefoot on piping hot sidewalks - and expecting that to be normal. So the best times to walk them in the summer? When the sidewalks are coolest - mornings and evenings.

And maybe these products below are unnecessary, but I love that they exist. 

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Self Cooling Pet Pad, available in different sizes on Amazon

Look at how cool that dog looks! I’ve bought this dog mat and it does actually stay pretty cool. The problem is trying to get a dog ON it. The box doesn’t tell you how difficult that part is. Also, the fact that is looks like a pee pad doesn’t help things along here.

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The Frobo, keeps a water dish cold for an extended period

Now… will I buy the Frobo? I really want to. But I think I sort of have a problem with buying smaller-scale-luxurious items. So maybe I’ll ask for one for Christmas.

Keep those bitches safe this summer, please!

Slow Cooker Jamaican Jerk Pork Chops

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I just made this pork and rice dish and it tasted incredible. I’m always looking for other things to do to pork (since pulling it is the popular one) and this recipe is fantastic. I adapted it slightly from A Little Claireification based on my own preferences, so if there’s anything in this that you’d alter even more - I have a feeling it’ll still taste amazing. Especially over rice.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup hot water
  • 1/4 cup olive oil
  • 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
  • 1/4 cup brown sugar
  • 1 tsp red pepper flakes
  • 1/4 tsp ground cumin
  • 2 tsp salt
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 4 pork chops (bone in or out, your choice)
  • 1/2 onion, sliced
  • 1/2 red bell pepper, sliced
  • 1/2 orange bell pepper, sliced
  • 1 cup frozen corn
  • 1 can black beans, drained

Instructions

  1. Turn on your slow cooker and add the first eight ingredients.
  2. Stir briefly just for a minute until the brown sugar is dissolved.
  3. Add the pork chops, turning them once to coat both sides.
  4. Add the onion, peppers, corn and black beans on top.
  5. Cover and cook on HIGH for 4 hours or on LOW for 6-8 hours.
  6. Serve pork over rice or with a side of your choice.
Illustration by Andrew Hamm

Illustration by Andrew Hamm

Hahahah.

lynn-types:

tastefullyoffensive:

[thegreatbarcia]

Future-parent-life-goals
Hahahah.

lynn-types:

tastefullyoffensive:

[thegreatbarcia]

Future-parent-life-goals

Maturing is realizing how many things don’t require your comment.

—Rachel Wolchin

Read Hard - Book Blog

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I feel like we all wish we read more. Am I right in thinking that? The moment you become an adult there’s this impalpable pressure that’s suddenly placed upon you to be so fucking well read, it’s an exhausting expectation. That being said, I’m always impressed by people who read a ton and will forever love that trait in a person.

I will never be well read. That’s just a fact I’ve come to deal with, which is fine. I mean, I read - but maybe only five or six books a year (and that’s considered a good year). (One time I read three books in four days and I feel like that sentence may be my final words someday I’m still so proud of it.) Anyway, it’s all right to assume that you probably read more than I do. And if that is true, and you give any kind of a shit about getting actual GOOD book recommendations on what to read next, then this blog (Read Hard) is for you. 

The lovely woman who writes it is my dear friend Adele and she writes exactly how she speaks, which I think is rare and just the best. She just started it earlier this month and it’s about goddam time.

Rockaway Taco

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There are two things you need to be happy: beaches and tacos. So when there’s a place that you can go where you can dine on BEACH TACOS, I will likely suggest you go there as I just did this past weekend. 

And if you do make the trek to Rockaway (which really isn’t that far at all from the city), please get the fish tacos. I was a little disappointed when I realized they’re deep-fried fish tacos and not, like, California kinda fish tacos - but they’re still really tasty. And the Mexican corn? Get the hell out of here, I could’ve eaten five of those. Definitely the best thing on the menu. Also note that the chorizo tacos are nothing to write home about. 

Would this place be as popular if it were in Manhattan? Crazy doubt it. But since it’s in the middle of nowhere amongst (mostly gross) beach-type food, it makes sense why people are so into this place. 

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